The Mizzou Flipside

The 38-year-old actor shows exactly how many inches he’s added to his waist in the time he was gone.

COLUMBIA, Mo– Ted Wiggins, perpetual nominee for Columbia’s “most likely to have nobody attend his funeral” award, has reportedly been contemplating an attempt to get his name on the Most Wanted List. Wiggins got the idea Friday in the presence of his best friend Willis; the 4-week-old goldfish could not be reached for comment. Making [...]

Dr. Guy Hofstrom examined a 13-year-old girl on Thursday who displayed remarkable bouts of violent yelling, disruptions in happiness, and fluctuations in her temper. Hofstrom dismissed the issue at first, but upon further review of the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain responsible for moderating appropriate social interactions, realized he had discovered “High-Maintenance-Syndrome.” The [...]

“Ugh, soo much drama”

“He was starting to mope around a lot, ignoring fire hydrants and squirrels, seemingly because his day just didn’t appear to be in the cards,” said Phil Roberts, one of the dog’s owners, “it was tearing our family apart, seeing her like that.”