April 29th, 2010 by matt
WASHINGTON D.C.— First lady Michelle Obama announced yesterday that she is launching a campaign to fight childhood obesity. “I want to start small,” said Obama, “spending time with each kid and whipping them into shape.” Secretary of Health and Human Services Director Kathleen Sebelius applauded Obama for hitting the issues head-on. “She sees one of [...]
March 8th, 2010 by matt
OMAHA, NEB.- The current recession – the largest in several decades – has been crippling the nation for over a year but, in a tremendous act of bravery, Omaha native Mike Smith ate dinner last Tuesday night. “It’s been on my mind for awhile now,” said the newly anointed national hero. “I’ve been hungry for [...]
February 22nd, 2010 by matt
Dr. Guy Hofstrom examined a 13-year-old girl on Thursday who displayed remarkable bouts of violent yelling, disruptions in happiness, and fluctuations in her temper. Hofstrom dismissed the issue at first, but upon further review of the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain responsible for moderating appropriate social interactions, realized he had discovered “High-Maintenance-Syndrome.” The [...]
February 7th, 2010 by matt
After that point, Simpkins began seeing Jesse all the time, especially every Tuesday and Thursday when he was walking to the Journalism school. Simpkins felt that it was fate.
January 28th, 2010 by matt
Peyton Manning released a statement on Wednesday saying that first string head coach Jim Caldwell will be benched for the Super Bowl
January 22nd, 2010 by admin
“There were a lot of people doing what I was doing,” Sosa said unapologetically about his past. “Especially when I was playing for the Cubs”.